"Baby, it's cold outside! Time to snuggle up with a mug of hot chocolate (or a glass of wine!) and fall into a steamy, sexy book."
Wicked Winter Saturdays is a weekly post created by The Autumn Review, The Bookish Babe, Hackaroo's Reviews, and Sim-Sational-Books. Feel free to join in. (let us know so we can add a link to your post).
Lucy, a pretty and petite elf, has been transferred to the Dildo Department at the North Pole Toy Factory. Handling all those jiggly, wiggly, vibrating toys makes her fantasize about a very exciting sexual experience. All she needs is three human men and one magical night, and she'll make everyone's holiday dreams come true.Lucy hitches a ride into a city on Christmas Eve, courtesy of a naughty Santa Claus. She magically drops through a chimney and into a house shared by male roommates.
She goes from room to room, waking up each handsome man in her own special way, until all four of them are merged together in one epic sexual climax.
WARNING: Erotic and explicit; contains elements some readers find offensive, while other readers will find them highly enjoyable. 18+
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Spring is almost here!!!! That means I’ll be making a new banner real soon! So since winter is nearing an end, thank goodness, I figured I would do a winter-ish themed book this week.
I know, it’s not anywhere near Christmas, but when I saw this gem under the Amazon free erotica’s I couldn’t pass it up. Screw the Easter Bunny, let’s talk about Santa’s cock!! Yup, you heard me right. Lol
Three Men and a Tiny Lady is just what you get.. However, add Santa to the mix and your jolly little hearts will be set on fire. Or you will laugh like hell (that’s what I did.)
Ladies, Santa’s got it going on.. but let’s start from the beginning. Lucy “Fingercuffs” WooHoo is this poor little lonely elf woman. She hasn’t gotten a good dicking in decades.
“Despite being well over a hundred, her pussy was still young and tight, because elves live a very long time”
Lucy works in the North Pole for Santa, and has just been transferred to the Dildo Department. That really doesn’t have relevance to the story other than the fact she’s craving human sized sausage. Side note, I wish there really was a dildo department in Santa’s work shop, I think the world would be a happier place.
Lucy wants nothing more than to hitch a ride on Santa’s sleigh so she can bang some humans on Christmas Eve. You don’t ride for free though, Santa needs a hummer.
“Santa’s cock tasted like sugared gumdrops”
“He had white pubes all over his jingle balls, and his bowl of jelly shook as he started to come.”
Don’t even ask me what his come was, you have to read for yourself, but if you are creative and give it some thought you might be able to guess. lol
One thing leads to another though…
“You are a naughty one,” Santa said, his voice deep and rich “Turn around and I’ll fuck you in that drippy little elfhole of yours.”
Oh yes Santa!! Please fuck me in my drippy elfhole, by now I have tears in my eyes I’m laughing so hard. Drippy.. my hole is not drippy. It must be an elf thing.
This book was funny. I loved the Christmas references. Santa drops her off at a house with three guys, hence the title. She gets fucked like no little elf has been fucked, let me tell ya. Those poor men didn’t stand a chance.
“As he smelled her elf muff and became somewhat conscious, the scent of her intimate elf skid did the same work as her magic dust, and he was under her power.”
Ahhhh!! I want a magical elf muff!!! Just so I can say I have one!
This was a very short read, but amusing none the less. Check it out, and you too will be dreaming about sucking off Santa’s hard candy cane.
It was free, now it's 99 cents and free to borrow for prime members. As amused as I was, I don't think it's worth a purchase. Just being honest.
OMG April....those quotes are hysterical!!!!! Drippy elf hole! *dies*
ReplyDelete*chokes on coffee*
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw that you'd added this on GRs, I assumed that it was a sweet romance novel!!! This is FANTASTIC!
Seriously, I got a little turned on over Santa's snowballs. And can you just tell me what his come was?
You totally made my day w/this gem. Great review!
Omg! Lol this sounds completely retarded! I loved your review but will pass on Santa's white balls and sugared cock, damn! I gagged reading that and I like penis! Love this review hardcore \m/
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I love your review it's F'ing fantastic and had me lmao!!
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! LMAO! What a review! I don't think this is something that I would ever read, but after your review I feel like I have to read it just to see it for myself.
ReplyDelete