Review - Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

Goodreads description

After serving out a year of hard labor in the salt mines of Endovier for her crimes, 18-year-old assassin Celaena Sardothien is dragged before the Crown Prince. Prince Dorian offers her her freedom on one condition: she must act as his champion in a competition to find a new royal assassin.

Her opponents are men—thieves and assassins and warriors from across the empire, each sponsored by a member of the kings council. If she beats her opponents in a series of eliminations, she’ll serve the kingdom for three years and then be granted her freedom.

Celaena finds her training sessions with the captain of the guard, Westfall, challenging and exhilirating. But she’s bored stiff by court life. Things get a little more interesting when the prince starts to show interest in her... but it’s the gruff Captain Westfall who seems to understand her best.

Then one of the other contestants turns up dead... quickly followed by another. Can Celaena figure out who the killer is before she becomes a victim? As the young assassin investigates, her search leads her to discover a greater destiny than she could possibly have imagined 

Throne of Glass reminded me how much I love fantasy. There you have it; my review in a nut shell.

I requested this because I read that it was supposed to be the teen girl version of game of thrones. This made me LOL, because nothing compares to Game of Thrones. I personally didn’t see the connection, other than the time period and some of the politics, I still really enjoyed this book.

Celaena is bad ass! For real. You do not want to mess with her, or you will be dead. In seconds. I loved her depth. She’s not just a crazy assassin, she has roots and a haunted past. She’s a loving caring person beneath her lethal ways.

The only thing I truly disliked about Throne of Glass was the love triangle that sets up. It wasn’t an annoying one by any means, but there is so much else going on, I felt it was unessisary. I still will be feinding for book 2 regardless of what guy is tickling her fancy.

I cannot wait to learn more about this world, and see what happens in book two. I feel like I can't even say much , because it would be spoiler-ish if I did. So I'm just going to keep it short and sweet. 


If your looking for an action packed fantasy with a strong female lead, this is it. Look no further!  


Amazon/Barnes Noble

New Sims Trailer - The Sea Breeze Series by Abbi Glines

Hey everyone!! So While It Lasts by Abbi Glines comes out on July 31st. While It Lasts is the 3rd book in the Sea Breeze series. All of the books are pretty much stand alone, but share some characters. I personally read them in order, but you don't have too. 

I have been anticipating this one for a while. I'm a huge Abbi fan these days. Breathe, the first book in this series was sweet. I really liked it. Because of Low, the second one blew me away. Needless to say, I'm sweating bullets for this one. 

To celebrate my dire need for this book, I put together a little Sim trailer for the series thus far. This was a really fun one to make, but tricky putting all three books into one. I think it turned out well, and I hope you all like it. 

Here is a screen shot that didn't quite make the cut! lol. I saved it for my pervy friends. Be sure to check out Autumn, Jess, and Andrea's posts for more fun screen shots. They are also premiering my video on their blogs today. (thank you ladies <3)

Without further interruption, here it is!! squee! Enjoy!!

 

Sexy Summer Saturday 7/28 - Paranormal Fantasies

Sexy Summer Saturdays is a weekly post that Attack the Stacks, Hackaroos Reviews, Sims-Sational Books, The Autumn Review, and The Bookish Babe created for fun, to spread the word about sizzling summer reads. 


This is a little diddy where we all review erotica-ish books on Saturday. Yes kiddies! I said Erotica, so read no further if you are a young'in.   

GoodReads Description

Are you interested in sizzling erotic stories with a paranormal twist? Vampires, werewolves, ghosts and demons suit your fancy? Do you want to get to know more popular erotica authors who write in the paranormal erotica subgenre? With 14 free stories in this promotional anthology, you'll get a pretty good start delving into the sexy realms of the unexplained!

Story list:

Pack Pals in Treeing Some Cooch by Annabel Bastione

Fangs of Desire by Brandy Corvin

The Shadow of the Wolf by Adriana Rossi

Blood and Black Leather by Cassandra Court

Fuck on the Wild Side by Jessi Bond

Howl by JJ Collins

Shared by Vampires by Layla Cole

Paradise by Lorelai Phoenix

The Hunt by N.S. Charles

Letting Go by Polly J. Adams

Pack Initiation by Serena St. Claire

Riding the Snake by Victoria Scarlett

The Werewolf Whisperer 1: Sit, Stay, Good Boy by Victorie Lazer

Cry of the Wolf by Vivian London

So this week was my choice of book. A good friend of mine recommended this to me. Not because it was written well, but for one story in particular, the first one. Pack Pals in Treeing some Cooch. LoL. That story alone made it worth the 99 cents I invested. 


I'm sad to say I was only able to stomach 4 of these shorts. The first four are poorly written, and well, just ridiculous.


Pack Pals in Treeing some Cooch. This was about werewolves. These two Weres are step brothers, and they go into the forest to look for their dad I think. Anyway , they are looking for someone, when they stumble into a foggy poison area of the woods. Both of them are paralyzed by poison. 


Here is where it gets weird. Vines of poison Ivy show up and start weaving their way towards the men. You will never believe what happens now. they get raped in the ass by a vines. 


"Not there! Not in my ass! HELP!"


"I shut my eyes and braced myself as I felt a vine running itself over my fleshy behind before slowly entering my asshole" 


Though they were a bit skeptical at first, both him and this step brother really enjoy it. Turns out the vines are controlled by a dryad named Lillian. Oh, and she's beautiful. Her spunk that she blows into their butts through her vines, apparently curses the poison. 


They end up going back into the forest for a last romp with Lillian, so she can cover them with her juices and make it through the woods to where ever the hell it is they are going. 


"Lillian was apparently very good with her vines as they made my ass feel awesome the way they went in and out of me."


So they have this gag inducing threesome in the woods. Let me just say when Lillian finally did lose her shit and come, I nearly lost my lunch. lol. 


Lesson learned... Never ever ever, is fucking live plants a good idea. I couldn't help but think the whole time, "what would my neighbor think if she ever saw me squatting over my garden" 


Don't fuck plants people! you will get covered in nasty sap and make a damn fool of yourself. 


"The vine spanked Stefan over and over again, turning his ass a red so bright I could see it at night."


I'm not even going to discuss the other 3 I read, they were not nearly as entertaining. I suppose there could be decent erotica's in this book. Perhaps I will read a story here and there, after all, I did buy it.. so might as well get my money out of it. 


Happy to say though, that Jess and I already read next weeks selection, and they were really good. Blew this crap out of the water. :) 

Wings of Arian - Tour stop - Excerpt

Yay guys! Today is my stop of the Wings of Arian Blog tour! I have some fun stuff! But first, don't forget to check out the tour schedule at The Bookish Brunette. Plus.. ppssss... there is a big giveaway going on over there that you do not want to miss. :-)


First, how about the synopsis!

Wings of Arian

Kiora thought she had never heard a lie until she was sixteen. But she was wrong. Her entire existence was based on nothing but. She thought that evil did not exist. Lie. That magic was not real. Lie. And that the land of Meros was all there was. One more lie.

With Aleric telling her that evil is knocking on the door and that she is the only one who can stop them she has a choice to make. Refuse, or start the wildest most painful ride of her life.

She reluctantly dips her toe into her new existence of magic and threads, dragons and shapeshifters, and the person who wants to take control of it all: the evil Dralazar.

However, this journey was never meant to be hers alone. She will be accompanied by a Protector. To her disbelief, and utter irritation they name the hotheaded, stubborn, non -magical, (albeit gorgeous) Prince Emane. They will have to trust each other with their lives, but right now Kiora would settle for a non hostile conversation.

And now it comes down to this, If you had never heard a lie, would you know when you heard one? Is knowing good from evil innate? Kiora finds herself having to decide who lives and who dies on those very questions. 

I have for you a sweet excerpt, but I thought I would spice it up a little with some Sims 3 pics. I hope you all enjoy it! 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After breakfast Kiora was so full she didn't want to move. “I don't think I ever eaten so much at one time,” she groaned.

“You did eat a lot!”

“No more than you,” she objected, before pointing out that he had eaten an entire tray of food before she was even awake.

“True, but I am twice the size of you.” He was trying to pull his jacket on over his button down shirt but couldn't get his newly banded arm reached far enough behind him to get his arm into the hole. “This is ridiculous,” he fumed.

“You told Eleana that it wasn't too tight.”

“It’s not. I told you every muscle in my body is killing me!” he groaned, trying again.

Kiora jumped up to help. She took his jacket and pulled it tighter around so that he could get his arms in it.

“There, you big baby,” she laughed smoothing down the front of his jacket.

“This morning you were worried that I wasn’t going to make it, and now I am a big baby?”

She shrugged again, “I only speak the truth.”

He leaned in and kissed her. “I don't believe you.”

“That’s too bad because…”

He kissed her again.

“Because if you don't believe me...”

He grabbed her shoulders and kissed her again.

“Are you... trying.... to get me to shut up?” she asked between kisses.

“Yes!” he exclaimed holding her at arm’s length grinning. “Why isn't it working?”

Smiling, she leaned into him, kissing him back. It was slow and sweet and exactly what she needed after the last two nights.

He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For staying with me.”

She didn't say anything, she didn't need to. They both knew she would do it again.

Here is a little about the Author!

Devri Walls lives in Kuna Idaho with her husband and two kids. She has worked as a music teacher and currently, a preschool teacher. She majored in theater and her love of a story still drives her today. Thankfully, she has finally found an outlet for all the voices in her head. Her first novel, Wings of Arian, is available on Amazon. Find her on Twitter, Facebook on her blog; www.writingmyfuture.com and goodreads.

Wings of Arian can be purchased on Amazon & Barnes and Noble ! 

Sexy Summer Saturday 7/21 Playing for Keeps by R.L. Mathewson

Sexy Summer Saturdays is a weekly post that Attack the Stacks, Hackaroos Reviews, Sims-Sational Books, The Autumn Review, and The Bookish Babe created for fun, to spread the word about sizzling summer reads. 


This is a little diddy where we all review erotica-ish books on Saturday. Yes kiddies! I said Erotica, so read no further if you are a young'in.  

GOODREADS DESCRIPTION

Done with being the world's biggest pushover, Haley decides that things are going to change starting with the aggravating neighbor who has too much charm and not enough restraint. What she didn't expect was to sucked into his world, but Haley has a game plan and she won't let herself forget just what the bad boy next door is capable of. The last thing Jason expected was for his little shy neighbor to go Rambo on him over some ruined flowers. After he decides to take her under his wing he can't help but that notice that she fits very nicely in his life. Now the only left is to convince her that this is anything but a game.

I’m sorry to say I missed last week’s SSS post. This summer has been crazy busy so far, and last weekend was no exception. Stir in a little food poisoning and there you have it.

Now that I’m recovered I figured I would just post last weeks for this week, giving Jess a week to catch up on her wedding invites, which are by far more important than sex books. lol. Don’t worry though; we have a treat for you next week for sure. After all, it is my turn to pick.

So let’s move on to this week’s selection. Jess picked Playing for Keeps by R.L. Mathewson. I loved it! I loved it so much I immediately bought book two, which we will both read and review later this summer.

If you have been to my SSS posts, you know that I like to poke a bit of fun here and there. I can’t even. There is not much about this book that I didn’t like, or didn’t stand out as ridiculous. I think I have one funny quote highlighted.

“For several minutes, panting and suckling sounds echoed throughout the small bedroom, making it harder to hold back” – I only highlighted this because it reminded me of when I tried the whole breast feeding. The sounds of suckling aren’t very sexy.. However, she was sucking his dick, not his titty so I guess a guy would find that sound appealing.

I honestly thought there would be more sex in this book based on the cover. It’s a sexy cover; I expected some sweat and grunting right off. But I was pleasantly surprised with a really sweet story. It has a few cheesy moments, as do most romance books, but overall it was just adorable and funny. I laughed a lot. Jason is a funny character, and Haley balances him out with her own humorous self.

Don’t be discouraged about the sex though. It’s there, but Mathewson works up to it. And it’s sexy as hell. Slow Burn, yes!!! The tension between them is fierce. And the foreplay... Holy Moly! There are some things I even want to try. The husband might be a little busy this weekend if you know what I mean.

I definitely adored this book, and I recommend it to anyone who likes their sex to go along with a strong plot line. Plus, it's only 99 cents on Amazon. Great price, and worth every cent and more. 


Amazon

Review - Loving Summer by Kailin Gow

When I first saw the cover for Loving Summer I thought, boy that reminds me a lot of the covers for Jenny Hans summer series. I pushed the thought aside and read the description. Guess what! It's sounds a lot like the description for The Summer I turned Pretty by Jenny Han. Look!

The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han

Belly measures her life in summers. Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August. Winters are simply a time to count the weeks until the next summer, a place away from the beach house, away from Susannah, and most importantly, away from Jeremiah and Conrad. They are the boys that Belly has known since her very first summer--they have been her brother figures, her crushes, and everything in between. But one summer, one terrible and wonderful summer, the more everything changes, the more it all ends up just the way it should have been all along

Loving Summer by Kailin Gow

Summer has always looked forward to spending her summers at her Aunt's beach house with the Donovans. To her, summers at Aunt Sookie's beach house was magical, especially getting to spend time with the Donovans - her best friend Rachel and Rachel's brothers Nathaniel, and Drew. Here at Aunt Sookie's beach house, they can be anyone and anything they dreamed. For Summer, she had always wished to become as pretty as Rachel and for her brothers to think of her as more than Rachel's friend. For Nat and Drew, summers at Aunt Sookie's beach house meant fun and escape, a place where they go to with their mom and sister for the summer, away from city life. They never thought this summer would be different. They never thought things would change as much as they did...and it all began with them falling for and loving Summer

It's okay to take a moment... go on and gag, you know you want to. I sure did. By showing you this, I'm admitting that I knew this was going to be a complete disaster going in. I'm not out to write bashing reviews. That's just not my style. You see, I heard about Kailin Gows books before. I have heard how many of her books are just poorly written copies of well written books. Having just come off my high from reading Jenny Hans books, and stumbling across this, I had to see for myself. It is said that curiosity killed the cat. I'm still alive but I sure would like a few hours of my life back.

I'm glad I read it though, not that I don't trust other readers, but now I know for myself never to pick up a book by this woman again.

Lets talk main characters.

Summer = Belly

Drew = Jeremiah

Nate = Conrad

Need I say more?

Now, Loving Summer isn't exactly like The Summer I Turned Pretty. It takes place in Malibu California for one.. but guess what! The beach house is modern, decorated to look like a new England beach house. Ha! What a clever coincidence. There are some extra characters thrown in for originality. The family drama is similar and you have "coping with loss". Just slightly different scenario's and substitute a different fatal disease. As far as the love angle goes, you have the two brothers wanting Summers attention, but to switch it up, lets throw a hot movie star boy in there too!

Loving Summer fell flat compared to the Summer Series. Gow tries to pull from their childhood memories to create a deep connection between them all, but it comes off as forced, cheesy and unrealistic. Last summer my hubby and I purchased some store brand sugar free fudge pops, thinking they were going to be better for us. Well, they were alright I guess, but in the end, there was no magical feeling left on my tongue, just a really bad taste in my mouth. This is very much how I feel about Loving Summer.

I don't understand how this even happens. What possesses someone to steal another persons work, tweek it, and send it off to the world with their name on it. The whole thing just makes me sick. Anything for a buck I guess. I could go on and on, but I just have nothing more to say about this garbage.

I'm not going to tell you all what to do, but I sure as heck won't be spending a dime on another one of Gows Knock Off Wonders. No thank you! 

Sexy Summer Saturday 7/7 - Emerald Green by Desiree Holt

Sexy Summer Saturdays is a weekly post that Attack the Stacks, Hackaroos Reviews, Sims-Sational Books, The Autumn Review, and The Bookish Babe created for fun, to spread the word about sizzling summer reads. 


This is a little diddy where we all review erotica-ish books on Saturday. Yes kiddies! I said Erotica, so read no further if you are a young'in. 

Goodreads Description

Meredith discovered her fianc in bed with two of her bridesmaids. Then she meets a handsome stranger who buys her an emerald pendant and offers to share his fudge with her. Before she can blink she is naked on a private, secluded beach and the mouth-watering stranger is coaxing her into sexual situations that both startle her and bring her more fulfillment than she's ever had. The afternoon is an initiation into the pleasures of the flesh, but sadly all good things must come to an end. Life is about to hand Meredith another surprise which will open yet more doors to her own sexuality.

Wow, I don’t even know where to start with this one. It was my turn this week to pick a book, and this corny ass cover is what originally got my attention. Then the description about sharing fudge? Say what? Who doesn’t like fudge? Well let me tell you the characters in this book sure love it. Jess and I have hear-by dubbed this delightful story “The Fudge Packer Book”. I know that sounds like a crude racist statement, but it’s totally not. Think literal people!

This story starts out from Meredith’s POV. She found her now ex in bed with 2 women, so she ran off to her grandma’s bed and breakfast, or something like that. I may have brushed over the details a bit, because I was just so darn excited for the sexy stuff! Well, grandma more or less, says stop moping around my house and go get some fresh hair. Meredith got a little bit more than fresh air.

She finds herself browsing in a Candy/Jewelry store. As she waits for the fudge line to go down, she stares at a green emerald necklace. A mysterious guy shows up, blabbing about the history of Emeralds and how they have sexual powers. All the while his hard man meat is brushing her buttocks through his jeans. Mysterious man then buys the necklace for her, and picks up a bag of fudge she was drooling over and out to his car they go.

Fast forward a page, and they are ready to get nakey on the beach together.  She has just met this guy, but hey why not? Mysterious man is actually named Connor. Here on the beach, on a blanket they proceed to explore every orifice she has. This blanket needs to be burned.

Texts with Jess! lol 

I’m going to be flat out blunt. This was the least sexy erotic book I have ever read. It made 50 shades look like the Kama Sutra. No way am I an expert in this… but common sense over the years has taught me that women generally dislike the word cunt. By 25 % (and this is a short story) the C word was dropped at least 6 times.

“His fingers pressed harder against her cunt lips” – Um, you lost me with cunt lips.

Though the word cunt does not personally offend me, it’s still a very un-sexy word. I think it’s safe to assume this story was meant for women to enjoy. Different word choice would have done wonders for Emerald Green.

Now enter the corny dialogue…

‘At last he drew back, the killer smile teasing at his lips. “So, Meredith. Have you ever been fucked beside the ocean before?”

“Just beautiful. You have the breasts of a goddess. I am but a humble slave to come worship at them”

LOL. Oh wait, I forgot one. This one seriously had me rolling.

“When I slip this into your body, Meredith, you’ll know your well and truly fucked”

Really, ya don’t say, eh? Ha!

Now for the fudge. You all knew I was going to get to the fudge. Personally, I’ve never experimented with food down there. Mints, sure, but never insertion. Are you all familiar with the texture of fudge? It’s sticky, kind of gooey when warm. Conner takes this bag of fudge that he bought, and stuffs it all up Meredith’s strawberry tasting slit. It even describes how he pushes it in and lines her vaginal walls with it. Don’t worry, I’m not done yet. He uses his Go Go gadget tongue to lick it all out, and also scraping it out with his fingernails.  

OUCH, EWWWW, and WTF!!!!

My face through much of this book. lol

I say go go gadget tongue because no one has a tongue as long as this guys. Note to all men who may stumble across this review. If your tongue can reach the back of your girl’s hole, you might not be human. Get that checked out.

Oh, and then they wash the fudge away in the ocean. This bitch is going to get a yeast infection for sure.

I’m trying not to be mean in this review. My intention is always to poke a little fun, but I’m finding it hard to believe this was written for women. I’m a sicko, so that means a lot coming from me. There is just so much wrong with this book.

“Occasionally he would pinch her clit with his other hand, not hard, just enough that more of her cream released onto his hand.”

 That is not sexy!!! That is a soap dispenser!

“I’ll be the one to have that pleasure of fucking that delicious virgin ass. First with my fingers, then with my cock.”

Hey..I just met you, and this is crazy. But here’s my asshole, fuck me maybe?!?!

 “He wished he could stretch her pussy wider, peer all the way to the mouth of the womb and see that delicious cream begin it’s journey through that hungry channel.”

NO!!! There will be no stretching and peering! Leave that up to the gynos! Jeesh. A few times through-out, Meredith describes being able to feel him up in her womb, or her womb quivering along with her cunt walls. Um… I haven’t felt my womb since I was pregnant, and I would like to keep it that way. Stay away from my Womb!

I would not recommend this to anyone unless you are just in the mood for a laugh. I’ m so glad Emerald Green was free on Amazon, because I would be very disappointed if I had actually spent money on it. The one saving grace is that it’s incredibly short and I read it in a little over an hour.

It’s a shame, because without the weird stuff, and the poor wording, it had the potential to be a cute.