GOODREADS DESCRIPTIONWhen literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind - until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time.
The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her - but on his own terms.
Shocked yet thrilled by Grey's singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny.
Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?
Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever
I had contemplated just doing a video review of this, but I don't think I could keep a straight face. Plus, I would feel obligated to put on make up and fix my hair. Who has that kind of time? I'm going to try and be as mature about this review as I can, but really, who are we kidding? This is me we are talking about. My friends all expect my inner 12 year old boy to do the speaking here, and I aim to please.
Before I go any further, I want to point out that this is an adult erotica book, so if you are uncomfortable reading a few bad words and sex related topics, please feel free to exit now.
First lets talk about the things I liked about Fifty Shades of Grey.
- For one, the cover. At first I thought, oh, a tie, because he's rich and business like. Yes and yes, but this particular tie plays a roll.
- The banter between Christian and Ana via Email. I found these to be my favorite moments through-out the book. They were funny and witty.
- Christians money. Yes, I liked that he was rich. I'm shallow like that.
- It kept my interest. That's a biggie I think, because it was a pretty long book, and not the genre I'm used to reading.
I wish I had more to say under the “Like” column. I really wanted to love this book. I have some fellow blogger friends who did, and a couple who didn't. This just goes to show you, that everyone is different, and not every person is going to like the same books. This is a spectacular thing, because if we all did, blogging would be pretty darn boring. I don't want to say I hated Fifty Shades of Grey, because I didn't hate it. I just couldn't bring myself to love it.
Here are a few reasons why , not in any particular order.
- It was long! Like really long, and when you are reading a book that is mainly based on sex, well that’s a lot of sex. I'm not against sex. Sex is fun! But my eyes were spent, ya know?
- Christian and his issues. I was torn on this. It explained a lot, but in the same token, I wasn't buying it. Something about it... it just didn't work for me. I admit, I liked him from the start. Very sexy but then.... see below.
- The Dominating stuff. Don't get me wrong. I'm not at all knocking the lifestyle. To each their own. Yes, yes, Ohhhhhh yes to the guy taking control in the bedroom, but I'll be damned if he's going to tell me to sit down and eat all my breakfast. No way. That's not hot to me. This is where this book and I didn't see eye to eye.
- The characters. Ana, I did like her in the beginning. I even liked her a little at the end, but knowing where the trilogy is going... I just don't respect her. I would say that about 70 percent of this book, she got on my nerves. I think it was mostly her Inner Goddess crap that ruined her for me.
- Ana's Inner Goddess. Guys, I wanted to slap her Inner Goddess silly. Here, I will show you!
My inner goddess looks like someone snatched her ice cream
My inner goddess has woken and is paying attention
My inner goddess has her pompoms in hand - she's in cheerleading mode
My inner goddess is spinning like a world class ballerina, pirouette after pirouette.
My inner goddess has a 'do not disturb' sign on the outside of her room
My inner goddess nods in agreement, a satisfied grin over her face
My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils
My inner goddess pole-vaults over the fifteen-foot bar.
My inner goddess is standing on the podium awaiting her gold medal
My inner goddess has back-flipped off the podium and is doing cartwheels around the stadium.
My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some primal carnal rhythm.
I wanted to slap her subconscious too, but her inner goddess stole the show. I just didn't get it. Maybe it was the authors way of telling us how Ana was feeling at the time, but aren't there less annoying ways? I didn't even start highlighting these things until I was about halfway through the book, and even then, I only highlighted some of them. Not all. Am I wrong to be annoyed with this?
- Other repetitive things. Such as, Whoa, Oh my, Oh shit, Oh Fuck, Oh Please, Holy shit, Holy crap, Holy Fuck. I have one word.. Thesaurus.
- Ana's smelly junk. Christian is kind enough to inform us numerous times how Tantalizing she smells. I wondered the whole time if they make glade stick ups to fits up in there. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, and I'm in the habit of smelling cooters, but I just don't know if I could bury my nose in one. I get that she smelled good, but come on! Lol
- The sex... I didn't mind the sex. If you know me at all, I'm not prude in the least. I love a great sex scene. Sometimes less is more.. but I'm not referring to the over abundance of it here. When they would be doing their thing, Christian would tell Ana to come. Guess what! She would then have a mind shattering orgasm immediately following his demand. Really? I would love to rent Ana's female organs out for a weekend and give them a whirl, because ladies.. maybe I'm alone in this.. but my shit does not work that way. Takes a little bit of effort if you know what I mean. So that, well that just made the sex scenes semi unbelievable to me.
- Spelling Errors Galore! I don’t usually pick up on that stuff. It doesn't bother me much. I don't write, I'm not an editor. I noticed a lot.. so for me to even be mentioning them, you know they were all over the place. I'm probably not one to talk, my reviews are sometimes littered with them, however, I don't charge to read my reviews.
I'm sure I could come up with some more things I didn't like about this book but that would be nitpicking. That all being said though, I still couldn't put this book down. Even with all the stuff I disliked, I still needed to pick it up and read more. There is something intoxicating about this book. I blame my inner pervert. Fifty Shades of Grey is like an Erotic Train-wreck. Even now, I feel like I need to know what happens. I will probably read the next two, out of curiosity, but I will save myself the $9.99 and borrow them from one of my girls.
My biggest and foremost problem with this story is the degrading though. I just didn't like how Christian treated Ana, and the way Ana reacted to that treatment. I disliked that even more. The kinky stuff, aside from one incedent, that didn't bother me at all. Its a known fact that the line between pleasure and pain is thin. I did enjoy learning a bit more about the BDSM lifestyle though. I think I would have enjoyed it more, if it was from someone who genuinely just liked it, without all the baggage. It's okay to like that stuff, you don't have to have been abused as a child to be into kinky shit. This isn't intervention or hoarders. I could have done without the sob story. <--- okay, that sounds mean, but I'm just being truthful.
So yeah, this book is not for everyone. I would not recommend it to many. From the reviews and ratings I have seen though, at ton of people like it.. so don't let my review discourage you.
Ending note, I will share with you some of my favorite one liners. Lol
“It's so big and growing. His erection is above the water line” - This made me think of the lock-ness monster
“He's my very own Christian Grey flavor Popsicle” - We should market these. I bet they would sell. Grey colored Popsicle.
“Aargh!” “I moan as my body bows and convulses” - What? Is she a pirate? Lol
“ Feeling the hair on his Oh-so-happy trail “ - Okay, that one had me laughing for a full 5 minutes. I'm so mature.