Sexy Summer Saturday's 6/2 : Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James - Review

Sexy Summer Saturdays is a weekly post that Attack the Stacks, Book Love, Hackaroos Reviews, Sims-Sational Books, The Autumn Review, and The Bookish Babe created for fun, to spread the word about sizzling summer reads.


Be sure to check out al these other reviews by my lovely ladies. I can't promise there's will be as obscene as mine. lol. 


Oh and I should probably mention that this is an erotica book, if you don't already know this, it might be a good idea to get your head out of your ass. 


Enjoy!

Daunted by the singular sexual tastes and dark secrets of the beautiful, tormented young entrepreneur Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele has broken off their relationship to start a new career with a Seattle publishing house.

But desire for Christian still dominates her every waking thought, and when he proposes a new arrangement, Anastasia cannot resist. They rekindle their searing sensual affair, and Anastasia learns more about the harrowing past of her damaged, driven and demanding Fifty Shades.

While Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Anastasia must confront the anger and envy of the women who came before her, and make the most important decision of her life.

Welcome to my first Sexy Summer Saturday post. I figured I would start it off with a couple hundred bangs and review Fifty Shades Darker this week. So I’m just going to get right to it.

I was planning on borrowing this after reading the first, but they are no longer lendable on kindle. Of course they aren’t. So I forked up the $9.99 and bought it. Let’s face it, I’m no better than any other woman in the world, my curiosity has gotten the best of me… again.

Surprisingly, I actually liked this one a little better than the first. Not much, but a little. Here is why…

-         There seemed to be a bit more plot. You know, like a story line to go along with some of the sex.

-         Christian’s childhood issues are explained in much more detail. It made some of his actions in book one make a little more sense. (making sense does not = acceptable btw)

-         The editing seemed a little better. More in the lines of spelling errors. I did not notice as many.

Here are some things that didn’t change.

-         Christian’s state of arousal and Ana’s readiness. I swear that woman’s panties are drenched 24-7 and if you ask me, that is not healthy. She’s going to get trench twat if she doesn’t learn to keep that shit dry. *shudders*

-         The sex! Constant sex that always ends in earth shattering coming undone orgasms, littered with “Holy Fucks, Holy Craps, and Oh My’s” galore.

-         Ana once again wears the plum dress. That thing is played out by now, don’t ya think? Not once has washing it been mentioned.

Let’s just talk about the sex for a minute. The sex in book two didn’t seem as creepy as it did in the first book. There is a lot of vanilla sex (literally) and love making going on. In a fantasy or porn making world, people have this much sex. If I were to have this much sex, no doubt my “down there” would fall right the fuck off or be unrecognizable. (The image of ground hamburger comes to mind) For most of this book they use condoms. Have you ever had sex with a condom? Try doing it multiple times a day, then go take a piss. That shit will burn like hell. I’m not saying it’s impossible to have this much sex. After all, some people make a career out of it, so who am I to say?

They do get into some Kinky Fuckery, so have no fear. They just work their way up to it, and its mild compared to what Christian is used to. You see, he is a changed man. *cue the corny angel descending from heaven music* Yes, this mousy drip of a woman has changed him. In a matter of days, her magical vagina has changed his whole perspective on life. Forgive me if I don’t believe that’s possible. I get it… changing a man, every women’s fantasy. If he is really 50 shades of fucked up, then no women and probably not even therapy is going to change that. If you have read the book, you know the dilly O as to why Christian really is the way he is and why he takes on submissives. This is some deep shit. I would have run like hell! Alas, I have a back bone so that’s to be expected.

My much loved Inner Goddess was still around. She didn’t annoy me as much this time. I don’t know if I just learned to ignore her or if there was less of her. Regardless I highlighted some of my favorites to share with you all. :0)

-         My inner goddess performs a quick arabesque

-         My inner goddess is draped in a pink feather boa and diamonds, strutting her stuff in fuck-me shoes.

-         My inner goddess is on her knees, naked except for her panties – begging.

-         My inner goddess performs four arabesques and a pas de basque.

So I had to Google arabesque, since this inner goddess is so fond of doing them. I’m a little confused. I thought for sure it was some kind of rare figure skating move. Shows what I know.

Before I wrap this up I want to touch on this quote from Ana.

“Could I ever leave him again – no matter what he did to me? Could I betray him like that? No. I don’t think I could. “

That line really bothers me. What exactly does she mean, “no matter what he did to me?” This quote crossed the line for me. Do I think Christian would beat her senseless if she didn’t permit it? No, however, that quote I feel sends a bad message. Yes, I know this is just a book about fucking, and it’s not exactly meant to hand out life lessons, but I’ve seen too many women get caught up in abusive relationships and do nothing about it. It’s not okay to stay with someone who hurts you in any way. I don’t care how big his dick is or what he’s been through, whether you have children together or you just plain love him. I’m all about making some sacrifices in a relationship but I would never sacrifice myself and my happiness. I have a daughter, if she ever came and told me something like that about a boy she wanted to be with, I’d be mortified. That seriously scares the shit out of me. Maybe I’m more heated about the whole thing, having been in a semi abusive relationship before. It happens to the best of us ladies, but some of us are smart enough to recognize and get the hell out of dodge.

Ana is wishy washy to me. One minute she’s a spit fire, standing up for herself when she isn’t hungry, or wants to drive somewhere by herself, but then she goes and thinks stuff like that, and I want to puke.

If you read book one and you liked it, I would recommend you read this one. If you read book one and you didn’t like it, I would still recommend reading it for entertainment alone. LoL. Seriously, the birthday present. Classic. I might offer this to Brian someday too if I ever get up the nerve and give myself an enema first.

For those wondering, there will be a Sims Trailer for Fifty Shades Darker. I’m currently working on it now, I had hoped to have it done before I posted this, but I had other projects to get done. It should be done within the next couple weeks. Yay! If you haven’t seen the Trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey yet, I will post it below! Now I will once again leave you with a few of my favorite one liners.

“Whoa! He has a hotline to my groin.” Really? lol

“This is the butt drawer?” – Bahahaha!

“Arrgh! Please!” I beg – Nice to see she’s still sporting the eye patch.

“I’ve taken my panties off and everything. I feel like a child who has been denied candy” – Did someone say Cock Candy!!!

“I roll my head, giving Christian better access to my neck and push my breasts into his magical hands.” – When I read that, I seriously imagined Harry Potter and Ginny doing dirty things with his wand. I have issues.

EDIT!! It's done... Enjoy!

Awwwe, they look so cute together. lol